Does anyone remember patience? i do. i remember bein an A honor roll student. and if you didnt know me you thought i was quiet and kept to myself. and if you kneew me you were a social outcast, i was too. i remember refusing to ever ssay a swear word because WWJD. i remember enjoyinng working with children and being around my family. i remember when drinking was gross. i remember when hiding my feelings didnt hurt so bad. i smile when i think of how i used to be. and i cry my heart out while i crawl into feetle position as i think of who i have become. is this really how i wanted my life to turn out. today my mom pulled me aside and started crying. she wanted to know what happened to her little girl. why did i ruin my life. why did i turn out like this. why why why. and nothing has ever hurt me that bad. i hate that devil woman but im breaking her heart. im not the same. i want to find myself again. the quiet fun loving caaring girl i used to be. i want to find that again. i dont want to be boy crazy. thats just not me. EVERYONE knows that. i ont waste time on something i cant have and i think its about time i realize that again. i cant have a perfect boyfriend, a perfect family, and evrything i want. nobody can achive that and that includes myself. it will be hard to become how i used to be, so why cccant i just be who i am? why do i have to be how i used to be. shouldnt i just be me? fun crazy weird and TRUTHFUL. iv reealised lately the only person im ever reeally truthfull to is damiion. hes officially broken my heart, but i cant and never will lie to him. i just cant hes so... damy. how could i ever lie to someone so perfect. i wish he was mine. but anyways. see, the old patience would never talk like that. she never fell in love. she never even spoke to boys lol! i guese somethings about me aare better. Garth- i know its crazy, and we have always been mortal enemies. but i cant live without you! your the bestest big brother ever an i hope you realise that. you protect me when i nee it and help me in everyway you can. your one of my bestfriends bubby and i love you!. scott- talking to you again is weird (yes damion im talking to scott) but i think its so great that we can be friends. no, i dont love you. i hate you most of the time. but i really missed your advise and the way you always know the right thing to say. just knoowing your there and happy means the world to me! those little reality checks you give me... they hurt. but i need them. damion- i love you with all my heart and i always will. end of storry. dale-i miss you so much! i wish you were here omg! so much has gone on the past feew weeks! i just need to tell you everything! i hope your having fun in newyork and tell your mom i said hello. charisty- your positive attitude is nothing but wonderful! i WUV your visits and i love your texts! goodluck at UF. christopher- thankyou for making me feel like a big sister. theese last few days with you have been wonderfull. i love you concerned you get wen you see me crying. i lovvvve racing with you in the front yard. and i love sticking fruit snacks to our faces =]well iv typed my heart out.
ill post again soon.
garth is in oklahoma.
ill be spening alot of time in his room =]
bad cell signal tho.
-patience
[it took me four tries to spell my name right just now]
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